Be here this year!

About a week ago I heard one of the children scream for me in the night. I leapt up out of bed, turned on my bedside Salt lamp and eyes half closed stumbled towards the hallway to the children's rooms. I took one step into the dark hall and crunch a cockroach was crushed beneath my heel. Now the moral of this story may be that I need to keep a cleaner house, but that wasn't what came to my mind. Having checked the children were okay, my mind immediately tried to make meaning of it, to read the language of the universe. Was it an omen? Was I about to meet a grizzly end? We'll I decided to shoo away the more neurotic interpretations rather to see the universe giving me a metaphorical slap in the face and reminding me of my own impermanence.

It can be very easy to let time pass when you have a small family. Everyday is long and full and yet over before you know it. The days quickly turn into years. Some of this time is conscious but mostly it is passed in a dream, a dream which believes that our existence in this form will go on for ever. However when we stop and think about it we all know that this is not the case, yet we forget and waste this precious human life. A precious life which can be extinguished at any time. That one Cockroach wandering in the vastness of the hall happened to meet my heel. What were the chances? Neither of us expected it. I feel sad for the cockroach but the reminder of impermanence which could be a sad reminder actually fills me with hope and with inspiration. Motivation to use my time well, to be here fully living each moment.

Which brings me to another notion which occurred to me whilst cleaning the house for Christmas, (see I do clean). It was a full moon and I had read somewhere that this full moon would signify the culmination of all I had worked towards through the year. This notion appealed to me and so whilst I swept the floor I contemplated about which of my numerous projects I would give my time to. I had so much I needed to do and I wanted to culminate in something, something tangible. Then I heard a voice within myself which snapped me out of my dream, the voice told me that the only thing that was important was to be here. I like it when this sensible wise inner voice cuts through the chatter. And so I put notions of 'to do' aside and focused on the tasks in hand as best I could, bringing myself back as best I could when I remembered. It felt good and I had a far greater feeling of contentment I suspect than if I had managed to complete my lists in a frazzled half focused full moon inspired way.

So whilst I sit and pen my list of resolutions, like do Yoga everyday and become amazing at Hula hooping, I realise that there is only one resolution that truly matters and that is that I am here, living fully, conscious in the moment. And I suspect that if I can do that, the rest will just flow into place.

Happy New Year 2016 - Be Here